Monday, April 29, 2019

Can Trust Myself Around Food

All my life I have had a problem with finding myself eating the wrong food at the wrong times and trying to justify it or trying to make up by not eating later.

It was an endless destructive battle with myself I could never win. I failed time and time again and had got to the point when I felt there was no point. Trying to diet and lose weight was just making me so miserable I might as well except the fact I was obese and stop trying to do anything about it.

That experiment when they put the marshmallow in front of the child and offer to double the amount if they can wait, was it 15 mins or 30 mins? That's not so much a test of willpower, but is an indicator of the amount of insulin level in the blood.

Low insulin and normal blood sugar and its easy to wait. High insulin and low blood sugar and the brain is demanding that glucose hit now!!

I have always enjoyed cooking but it was something I tried to limit because of the constant snacking while I cooked. Now I am free to cook again because I know that as long as I am within my 6.5hr eating window, 12 to 6pm and its not carbs I am free to have a small taste without any guilt at all.

Free at last.

I tried on 2 of my size 16 jeans yesterday and while I can get the zip up, something impossible 3 mths ago. They are too tight to wear comfortably now. So more work to be done.

But it's something that is doable and I now look forward to every day instead of dreading it in case I end up binging.

Yesterday I made another loaf of flax bread and cut into 10 slices and froze. Today I have made the 3 cheese omelette from Tom Kerridges book and that will be for my lunch. It makes 4 portions and often DH will have a slice as well. This morning I put in feta cheese, my home made yogurt hung cheese and some wensleydale cheese.

I got out 4 of my winter jackets yesterday and decided to soak them in the bath as they had got very dusty hanging in the cupboard since last year. I had to swill the bath out afterwards which just showed how dirty they were. They hung on the line most of yesterday and will go out again today.

A few months ago I would never of dreamt about tackling something like that. let alone washing them myself and getting the job done.

Insulin was just in control of my life, controlling what I thought about, constantly food, controlling what activities I could do, mornings only for mental work and controlling what exercise I did. As little as possible.
Insulin is a bully and I am so relieved I am now in control and not insulin.

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