I have been battling with obesity for over 50 yrs.
The number of times I have asked for help from Dr's who write obese female on my medical reports, and also slimming clubs etc.
For 50 yrs I have been trying endlessly to lose weight. Sometimes 60lbs sometimes 80lb.
Each diet session comprised of counting calories, cutting fat, exercising and struggling to get through each day. Each tiny loss to be celebrated. I needed to suffer punishment for allowing myself to get so overweight in the first place.
I did not know any other way to solve the problem, because I did not know what the problem was.
When I did get to goal weight, whatever it happened to be. It never seemed to 'gel' with me. I always felt like a fat person still. I had what I would call phantom fat. Like a shadow it followed me around because I knew as soon as I stopped the starvation diet the weight would return. Slowly at first and then I would give up in the will power department and the weight would come rushing back and bring some extra too. I always ended up weighing more after a diet than I did when I started.
It got to the point where I thought why am I bothering. Maybe I am just supposed to look this way. My body does not want to reduce its size.
In the past I had no health issues from the weight. Then my BP started to go up. Then I had a TIA and realized my weight was doing me no favours.
So yet another attempt, but this one feels different. For a start I am eating more and finding my food more satisfying and for me to go 6 hrs without food between lunch and dinner is a big break through.
I feel comfortable that this is now my weight. It will keep on reducing but I dont feel there is any risk of finding I have put on 14lbs by tomorrow. My blood sugar is now stable all day, I know when I can have food and how much I can have.
I am now learning to accept that I am not the failure I thought I was. The failure was in the diets I was trying and the information I had been given.
This feels doable and possible and I am finding success at last.
The number of times I have asked for help from Dr's who write obese female on my medical reports, and also slimming clubs etc.
For 50 yrs I have been trying endlessly to lose weight. Sometimes 60lbs sometimes 80lb.
Each diet session comprised of counting calories, cutting fat, exercising and struggling to get through each day. Each tiny loss to be celebrated. I needed to suffer punishment for allowing myself to get so overweight in the first place.
I did not know any other way to solve the problem, because I did not know what the problem was.
When I did get to goal weight, whatever it happened to be. It never seemed to 'gel' with me. I always felt like a fat person still. I had what I would call phantom fat. Like a shadow it followed me around because I knew as soon as I stopped the starvation diet the weight would return. Slowly at first and then I would give up in the will power department and the weight would come rushing back and bring some extra too. I always ended up weighing more after a diet than I did when I started.
It got to the point where I thought why am I bothering. Maybe I am just supposed to look this way. My body does not want to reduce its size.
In the past I had no health issues from the weight. Then my BP started to go up. Then I had a TIA and realized my weight was doing me no favours.
So yet another attempt, but this one feels different. For a start I am eating more and finding my food more satisfying and for me to go 6 hrs without food between lunch and dinner is a big break through.
I feel comfortable that this is now my weight. It will keep on reducing but I dont feel there is any risk of finding I have put on 14lbs by tomorrow. My blood sugar is now stable all day, I know when I can have food and how much I can have.
I am now learning to accept that I am not the failure I thought I was. The failure was in the diets I was trying and the information I had been given.
This feels doable and possible and I am finding success at last.
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